Sunday 6 November 2011

Finding Time to Date: How to be Organised

I am in awe of how much some people can fit in to a day.  I am also aware of the truth of the saying that "if you want something done, then give it to a busy person".  I used to be one of those highly organised people.  Then life happened.  Children came along, my marriage failed, and basically of all my best laid plans kept going flying out the window.  I am looking at my schedule wondering when and if I actually do have time to fit in any dating.


I have come to the realisation that I need to become organised again.  How do I do that?  How do I prioritise when life seems to be lurching from one thing to the next to the next?  How do I juggle the household?  Work? Children?  Exercise?  Time to myself?

I have compiled the following tips:

1.  create a "to-do" list and keep it with you at all times.  For those with children like mine where things just don't seem to flow, try and not include time frames and the to-do items unless these are essential.

2.  keep a small note book and pen in your handbag.  This is so helpful as you think of items that you need from the shops, you receive a phone call and need to take a number down, or you remember suddenly something that needs to be down.  I have three lists on the go - food shopping; general shopping and hardware items.

3. wear a watch.  I had stopped wearing a watch once I started staying home and looking after the kids. My watch always seemed to get in the way and scratch children, become filthy with cooking, get splashed with bath water, or go through the wash when it had been taken off and put in my pocket.

4.  for things like appointments, set a warning alarm fifteen minutes before you need to leave. I set this on my mobile phone / PDA when I put appointments in. If you are taking children with you, set the warning alarm fifteen minutes before all of you need to start getting ready.  That way the kids are aware that they need to start winding up

5.  use a whiteboard for who needs to be where each week.  Use a different colour for each member of the household.  Include things like school library days, news days, shopping days, cleaning days, sports, appointments, time for homework etc.  That way everyone within that household knows what to expect and when.  This is also great for people like me with a sift for a brain as the kids are quite good at reminding me about that forgotten appointment!

6.  plan, plan, and plan.  I have read that for every minute put into planning, eight to ten minutes in execution can be saved  To plan for attending a 3pm appointment for example, try and be ten minutes early to allow for any unforeseen delays. Aim to be at the appointment at 250pm. If you need to obtain parking, allow time for this say five minutes. you need to arrive at the parking at 245pm. If it takes you half an hour to be ready, then you need to start getting ready at 215pm.  If you need to gather some items for the appointment, start putting these together at 200pm.  Set a warning alarm at 145pm to let yourself know that you are going to need to start finishing up what you are currently doing to get ready for this appointment. Do you get the idea?

7. try and stay routine as much as possible.  Clean the house once a week.  If you have a busy house like mine, the floors are done three times a week. The children's hair is washed on the same day.  Children's appointments and mine are kept to the same days and times where possible.

8. when placing appointments in your diary, block off needed time in the diary.  This included travel time and wait time if the person is likely to run late. This stops you putting yourself under too much pressure.  Block off planning time if needed to.  Use pencil so that you can easily erase whatever you need to.

9. where possible, plan each day in advance.  Look at your diary the night before.  Work out what tasks can be grouped in together.  For example, if you are doing the grocery shopping and have dry cleaning that needs to be dropped off close by, do the two things together rather than on separate days. Have the kids put out their school clothes and pack their bags after they have finished their homework.

10.  block or group your time each day.  For me I have an hour set aside for household tasks, three hours for work, one hour for exercise, then the kids are due home from school again.  If I need to attend to legal matters then no more than one hour is spent on these.

11.  I know that I am more focused and productive in the morning than straight after lunch.  I use the after lunch time for errands and more menial tasks when I wain mentally.  I use my mornings for things that I need to really focus on.

12.  prioritise in to what has to be done, what can wait, what is urgent etc.  Do this by deadlines.  Often the urgent items are not necessarily the ones that are due in first!  Be careful.  Do you have to go to the shops that day or can this wait for two days time?  Yet that email must go that morning, so hop to it!  Ask yourself what is going to be the most valuable use of your time that day?  What are the most important items that day?

13.  we live in a day and time of instant technology.  Everyone expects us to be available as soon as they call or text.  I have great news for you - you don't have to be.  I can't see the point in answering the phone to tell someone that I cannot talk!  I let my calls go to voice mail if it is not convenient to speak or if I have things that I need to do. I am quite capable of ignoring the home telephone, too, when I have visitors in the house or am half way through something. Telephones, emails, faxes and text messages are there for your convenience, not everyone else's!  Make them work for you. I try and not make or take personal phone calls during the day until all other phone calls are out the way.

14.  always finish what you start.  You are far better off to start one task and see this through to completion that start six projects and finish none.  The rest can go in you "to-do" list and stay there.

15.  do the needed small things as you go.  If you see something on the floor, pick it up.  Open the mail when it comes in and keep what needs attending to and throw out immediately what can go out. File things immediately. Empty the bins straight away. Put the folded washing straight away. Wipe down the table straight after a meal before food sets on it. All of these things take very little time.  Staying on top of things makes a huge difference.

16.  clean up your desk at the end of each day.  I am a big believer in my life being best reflected by the state of my bedroom, my underwear drawer in particular!  Untidiness around us can leave us feeling overwhelmed and not knowing where to start.  If you pack away at the end of each day, this creates a fresh day to spring in to each morning.

17.  give yourself scheduled five minute breaks to stretch and refresh your mind.  Make a cup of tea, grab a glass of water, stretch your legs, speak to that person that you have been trying to catch.  This will freshen up your mind and help productivity.

18.  do schedule time for other people, particularly if you are not taking phone calls or answering emails.  I am clearer in the morning and tend to make my calls and return emails then, or in the later afternoon.

19.  do set boundaries with people.  I work from home.  I have needed to be very firm with people that just because I am home, it doesn't mean that I can stop.  Show other people the same respect.  If you make a point of organising times to catch up with friends, they will normally start doing the same and organise in advance.  When stating boundaries, tell people what you can give.  Eg  "Lets make a time to chat about this. Are you free to talk in thirty minutes?".  This acknowledges the needs of the other person and shows them respect.

20.  group things together where possible.  I am starting exercising again.  I am going to put my daily walking up as an activity on the website of a social group that I belong to.  This way I have my social outings and social contact that I need combined with exercise. My children love swimming and the beach, so we are all doing this together as a weekend activity each weekend.  The children and I are also all joining our local surf lifesaving club together.

21.  have tasks for your children to complete.  The workforce and the rest of the world is going to expect your children to know how to pick up after themselves and to show some sort of organisational ability and time management.  I keep my children's toys in containers where the toys are grouped together. Leggo is on one box, cars and trucks another, dolls and dolls clothes in one container. The kids are allowed to have one container out each at a time.  Once that container is packed away, they can then have another one.  A rake is fantastic for picking up Leggo, marbles, and other small toys that have wound up spread from one end of the room to the other.  If the toys are not packed away, then they become "mine" and spend time on top of the fridge. This helps contain the mess so that it is not overwhelming for the children.  Give the children warnings for pack away time so that they are prepared for this.  Pack away time usually works well when their favourite television show is due on and the TV is not allowed on until it's done!  Make sure that there is a positive reward at the end to motivate your children.  My children have their own lightweight vacuum cleaner to use.  They started wiping their feet without fail once that was introduced!

22.  when there is an overwhelming mess to clean up, start in one corner and work your way around.  You will get there - eventually!

23.  if legal in your area, use your car travel to catch up on phone calls that you need to make.

24.  outsource where possible and with what is needed. I have someone who looks after the gardens as I am allergic to dust.  It bothers the heck out of me though if the lawns and gardens look terrible. I used to always have a cleaner, but now that I am single, this is more of a luxury item than a necessity. Keep a list of things for a handy person to do and then get them over when there is a full days work.

25. most importantly, plan to have some fun!  If the day to day things are well managed, you should then have the time and energy for other things like dating.  If you are addicted to web sites like Facebook and Twitter, schedule some time in each day to look at these.  Schedule time in each week to log on to internet dating sites and to go on dates.  If you are happy and balanced within your life, everything else will flow for you, too!

If you have any other tips, please feel free to add them on below.

Love and friendship,

Leanne

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