Work / Life Balance seems to be a term that is often used a lot these days. More and more people are working harder than ever. Technology such as the mobile phone complete with email leave people expecting us to be on their very beck and call every moment of every day. People are rapidly becoming overwhelmed as they try and balance what they need and the demands of work, family, friends, daily tasks, the unexpected things that crop up, and time to themselves.
Paige talks about "Dating Without Drama" and the importance of maintaining your own life and keeping a healthy balance. So what exactly does a healthy balance look like. I have copied the following diagram for you to take a look at:
For balance to be in your life, all of these factors must be considered in this diagram. How do you balance out when you consider these?
1. what proportion of time and how intrusive in to your life is your work? Work does not need to be just intrusive through the time that you put in. There can be that sense of not being able to switch off at the end of the day.
2. self care / sport exercise: what is an acceptable exercise regime for you? Are you achieving this? Self care regimes can be anything from allowing yourself time to soak in the bath; applying a nice face cream daily; attending the beautician once a month; or treating yourself to a cup of coffee whilst flicking through a magazine for some time to yourself.
3. Community Activities: how much do you give to others and how? Are you satisifed with the level that you are involved? With three young children, charity needs to start at home for me as a single mum. Community activities are really important for our overall well being, sense of belonging and mental health. All of my elderly neighbours know who I am and have my phone number if they ever need help. Clothing that we have finished with here goes to an op shop that raises money for homeless and injured animals. If I see someone struggling, I will try and help. If someone is short fifty cents in a shopping queue and I have fifty cents to spare, I will give it. If I see someone's dog roaming the street, I will try and stop and see if there is a phone number on the collar and call the owners. These random acts are all part of these community activities. When we participate and giving for the sake of giving not expecting anything in return, we experience releases of endorphins, dopamine and serotonin. This is a natural mood booster!
4. Family / Relationships: how do you feel about the amount of time that you spend in this area? Is it too much? Is it not enough? Do you spend time with people out of obligation or because you enjoy their company? This part of the pie is very large for me as I have young children. Yet what is lacking is the time to date and form a relationship. I am also not contacting my extended family as often as I would like. How does this look for you? Ten minutes is ample time to spend on the phone to any person that you don't feel comfortable talking to but obligated. Create a list of what you can talk about so that the time doesn't wind up on problematic issues. If you catch up, place a time frame on the visit if needed.
5. friends, colleagues and acquaintances: this part of the pie graph is smaller for me and I am okay with that. I see a lot of people through my children every day. I look forward to my time to myself! I try and do one social activity with friends once a week. This is fine with me and meets this need. In between, I am in contact with friends through text message and phone calls. Do you see your friends enough? What are the quality of these relationships like? Are the relationships that you have good for you or do you find that they are draining for you?
6. Religious / Spiritual / Philosphical Concerns/ Meditation: are you a religious or spiritual person? is this incorporated in to your week? Is this balanced? Sometimes we need to be careful that we do not go overboard assisting others to the detriment of ourselves. I am a spiritual person. I practice what I believe alongside other things every day. Each night, I listen to meditation CD's. This works for me.
7. Hobbies / Interests: do you have hobbies that you participate in? What do you like to do when you have nothing to do? Is it watching a movie? reading a book? Doing a jigsaw puzzle? Undertaking a course? I created an enormous list of things for people to do in their spare time.
8. Future Plans / Short, Medium and Long Term Goals / Vision Board: do you plan to have a future? I am a big believer in living in the present. However, the present is much more effective if we know exactly where we are heading, too. The setting of goals and planning cut down time associated with uncertainty and lurching sideways like a little boat being blown around in a storm. Goals help you maximise the hours in your day and keep you focused. With any plans and goals that you make, you need to be prepared that they don't always go the way that you hope, and take that in your stride. Life and other people and things happen despite our best planning and intentions! Do have goals and time frames. Set short term goals for the day through to the next three months; medium term goals (3 months to three years) and long term goals three years on wards. Write down how you are going to get there and what steps that you need to take. Keep these where you can see them regularly. Review these regularly to assist with accountability. Allow the goals to be tracked. And most importantly, celebrate your successes!
Remember that there will be variations in the size of each pie piece for each person, and that's okay! The idea is for this to be balanced to your liking.
Do be mindful where you are spending a lot of your thinking time. Balanced thought is just as important as balanced action. Your time spent thinking should be matching up with your ideal pie chart of how your time is spent. If you only ever think about work, then you need to adjust your thinking.
The next step is to "map" all of this. Use a calendar template such as the one below and start allocating when you are going to do what. This will help you visualise your time and see if you are trying to fit too much in to your day or if you are expecting too much from yourself.
None of this has to be "perfect". All of this can be flexible and open to change. Keep this template and adjust your time priorities as needed.
And this in a nutshell is how to obtain some balance back in to our chaotic lives!
Love and friendship,
Leanne
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